"Holiday" is not a euphemism for "Christmas"

"Happy holidays" is the "melting pot" into which our unique celebrations disappear.

I take Christmas pretty seriously, partly from tradition, partly from my faith, party for fun.

My family starts singing Christmas carols as early as September, after having briefly paused the practice in August. If I could do one thing every year, I would go Christmas caroling.

Knowing that, imagine how my ears pricked several years ago when a university published its annual holiday card video featuring its a cappella group singing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” … but they sort of bleeped out the, uh, offensive word.

“I don’t want a lot this holiday, there is just one thing I need.
I don't care about those presents underneath the holiday tree.”

Never mind that the syllable count doesn’t even work. There’s just something jarring about the words.

The entire song is built around the traditions of Christmas—presents under a tree, stockings hung by a chimney, and Santa Claus. Would we ever take a song referencing another faith tradition and scrub all direct references to that tradition?

This is the closest I’ll get to Ebeneezer Scrooge. Where he scowled at the sounds of “Merry Christmas,” those who refuse to say the word make me say “Bah Humbug.” It’s not that I truly take offense at this exchange (I’m difficult to offend), but our attempts at inclusive holiday greetings often exclude…everyone.

When “Happy Holidays” excludes everyone in the name of inclusion

This is something we see in countless season’s greetings from universities, corporations, and public leaders. In cards, social media photos and heartwarming videos, we hear parodies of holiday songs, we see people interrupt their days in humorous ways as they all come together for a photo, and more.

It’s often only devout, faith-based institutions, and some small businesses, who venture so far as to say “Merry Christmas.” Most use the generic, supposedly inclusive “Happy holidays” and do not mention any holiday at all.

Or do they?

If you look past which two-word phrase is used to convey well wishes, you will see Christmas, and Christmas alone, reflected in the sights and sounds of many of these greetings. Trees bedecked with lights and baubles, green-and-red wrapped gifts, Santa hats, and reindeer noses abound. The greetings may unwittingly quote from the Bible (“peace on earth”), and the background track is occasionally a faith-oriented Christmas carol.

Hanukkah’s dreidel and menorah rarely make an appearance. I have seen perhaps only one holiday greeting with Kwanzaa’s kinara.

We usually think of “Happy Holidays” as the safe, inclusive holiday greeting. But if Christmas is the only holiday we depict, then we haven’t created a more inclusive holiday greeting. Instead, we’ve made a Christmas card, substituted the word “Holiday,” and called it good.

Often, we can’t even get the timing right. Remember, Hanukkah is not a Jewish version of Christmas. Sometimes the observances overlap, but being not tied to the Gregorian calendar, Hanukkah often takes place weeks before Christmas.

Too often, corporate holiday greetings come out with Christmas imagery when Hanukkah has already past.

A few years ago, Google published a Doodle on its homepage that said “Happy Holidays.” The picture showed Santa and Mrs. Claus sitting in easy chairs at the North Pole—clearly a symbol of Christmas.

The date? December 24. Christmas Eve.

Kwanzaa was still two days away. Hanukkah had been over for weeks.

What Google meant was “Merry Christmas,” but, of course, it’s not polite to curse on your homepage.

When we fill our holiday messages with the sights and sounds of Christmas, and change nothing but the word, we have taken a word that is sacred for some and turned it into a swear word, complete with its own euphemism.

But by still using the sights and sounds of that tradition, we are still centering that holiday. Where’s the inclusion in that?

The right way to make inclusive holidays

This is a soapbox I get on every year, especially in the 12+ years I have worked in higher ed. Working in communications, I’ve been tasked with working on quite a few holiday greetings on behalf of multicultural institutions. When we’ve done holiday photo booths, I’ve ensured that we have props representing more than just Christmas.

A Jewish colleague mentioned that Jewish students told her that it brightened their day to find symbols of their tradition available in the photo booth.

And all my coworkers are probably tired of hearing me remind them when Hanukkah is and we have to get the holiday card out before it ends. (This year we missed it by a day due to a mailing list hiccup.)

I’ll admit that I don’t represent that any Jewish people care about the timing of a holiday card. But I don’t want Christmas to be clumsily erased in the name of inclusion without actually creating that inclusion.

So here’s how to actually create an inclusive holiday atmosphere: Include everyone.

Learn about other people’s traditions: Some Christians celebrate Christmas with Santa, others without, and others focus more on advent in the weeks leading up to Christmas. In some countries, there’s a great emphasis on Three Kings Day.

Many people without a faith orientation celebrate New Year’s Day, but remember that some cultures celebrate the new year at different times.

Ask. Celebrate. Send well wishes.

Invite people to join you for your holiday traditions, and accept invitations to take part in theirs.

That’s it. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. I’ll get off my soapbox now to say…

Merry Christmas. Although I know this is late, I hope my Jewish friends and colleagues had a meaningful Hanukkah; I know the rise in antisemitism in recent months makes the commemoration bittersweet, but I hope the promise of enduring light brought hope.

Happy Kwanzaa to those who celebrate. And may 2024 bring better days for each of us.

Happy holidays.

For another message on a similar theme, check out Nir Eyal’s “I Changed My Mind About Saying ‘Merry Christmas,’ and You Should Too.”